I once offered a friend "a penny for his thoughts." She looked at me sideways and said, "Oh, they're worth a lot more than that."
I hadn't meant to insult. The 400 year old expression used to imply that a penny was worth quite a bit and that the listener would be willing to give a good gift to find out what was going on in someone else's mind.
But she was insulted, and let me know that the complexity of her thought-life was causing turmoil and restlessness. And there was no way that she could possibly change it.
We spend so much time in our heads: thinking, thinking, thinking...
Not all of us agonize over it, but many of us do.
And so much of what we do is a consequence of what we've been thinking about.
Mark Twain wrote, “What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those other things, are his history.”
Our behaviours, choices, spoken words all reflect what's going "up-stairs."
So, does that mean we control what goes on in our minds? Is it possible to act differently and to change our speech simply by thinking different thoughts? Is it that easy?
I wish I knew a clear answer to this. As it is, there are many theories and approaches to "fixing" the way we think.
What I do know is this: after struggling for years with my thought life with what seemed to be a perpetual disposition toward "glass-half-empty" thinking, I am sure that it is not possible to change the way we think without some kind of intervention. And I am sure that of all the disciplines to keep, practicing a disciplined thought-life is one of the most life-changing and powerful spiriutal practices. It is the one that has the potential to direct most, if not all, of the other disciplines we practice.
If it were just as easy as changing the way we think, it wouldn't be so hard.
But thoughts are as ingrained as instincts. They are immediate and sometimes insidious. We draw conclusions in the blink of an eye and then proceed to act on those conclusions. It is also not possible, by will power alone, to reverse thought patterns, or to take up a totally new way of thinking. Most of us simply aren't resilient enough to do that. We're either totally stuck in a rut and can't get out, or we don't even realize we're in one! (Because they can be nice and predictable, after all.)
In these cases, negative assumptions spiral toward hasty conclusions.
Or optimism laced with denial permits behavior that's no less unfortunate than its pessimistic counter-part.
But how do we get out of these patterns?
So how do we get to thinking thoughts honestly? Thoughts that will free us up?
Paul says with urgency to the young believers:
Renew your mind ... (Romans 12)
Hold every thought captive to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phil. 4:8)
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds. (Ephesians 4:22-23)
I can just hear the "yah but's."
Yah but... it's easier said than done. (I know!)
Yah but... no one knows how much I've been through. (You're right!)
Yah but... I struggle with depression and anxiety or..._____ and that's a whole different story. (Right again.)
How can you expect me to think differently? (It's not going to be easy.)
Yah but... I'm kind of tired of hearing people (especially pastors) refer to Scripture as reason for me to "renew my mind." (Me too, sometimes.)
But what else can we do?
We honestly, truly need help. Help from outside of ourselves, help from some renewed, grace-filled, well-watered source.
Which is the mystery of the Holy Spirit indwelling our minds, hearts and spirits.
You think it's all up to you until you relinquish your right to think your own thoughts,
and then finally discover the relief of a renewed mind.
I believe this is true for all of us, whereever we are on the mental health spectrum.
We are all invited to admit that our thought-life is broken, and that we all need mental interventions.
So, we give over that cerebral space to the Holy Spirit and plead for replenished gray matter and for the gaps in those synapses to be re-ignited with hopeful instincts.
We let go of the tendency to clench the fists of our minds.
We allow the furrow in our brows to relax.
And we take a deep, baptismal breath, the kind that people do just before they're immersed.
And the Spirit does it.
The Spirit moves in, and takes up space. Floods our senses, washes the grime of entrenched thoughts and begins to stir up a new current. Redirecting the flow and pressure of thoughts, and permitting a fresh spring to provide life-giving energy. Jesus himself promises this. (John 4)
You participate by allowing the void to be filled with gratitude. Holding even the tiniest expression of thanks and letting that thought take up residence.
You cooperate by practicing surrender. Putting a hold on the anxious thoughts and clinging to the impressions prompted by reading Scripture.
It's a kind of mistrust in your own thoughts until you notice that the place previously filled with anxiety or worry, anger or doubt is replaced with trust and generosity, patience and joy. (Prov.3:5) It's evident in the way he prayed. (Read or reread John 14 and 15.)
What are your thought patterns like?
How are you being invited to hold every thought captive to Christ?
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